My cousin Atikah went into labour today! The baby is still making her way out but I am excited to see her soon. Atikah was kind of like a big sister to most of us in the Aboo Bakar family, always driving us around, telling us stories, always one step ahead of everyone else. I find it, for some reason, difficult to digest the fact that she isn’t — or, I guess, we all aren’t — little kids anymore. I cannot lie, a part of me is undeniably sad. She used to be always up for a day of fun, whether it was binging on TV shows, going out to eat, going on holiday… and I know now that she’s a mum she will not have that same freedom anymore. Part of me feels like this baby came out of no where and stole her from me, someone I’ve had in my life for a much longer time. (Honestly, it astounds me how much of a typical spoilt milennial I can be, flinching at the thought of commitment and responsibility and gripping onto individual freedom… I have such a long way to go before proper adulthood.)
But like I said, she’s always one step ahead of us. She does things first so that the younger ones can see how it’s done. And maybe I don’t feel it so much today, as I live out however many years I have left of only having to care for myself… but I know eventually I’m going to thank her for going first.
PS. I kind of can’t sleep because I keep picturing the blood bath that comes hand in hand with the miracle of child birth. Fun fact.